Finding the right support can make a meaningful difference for both you and your child. This section helps you connect with people, services, and supports that can guide you through different stages of your journey. You don’t need to access everything at once – start with what feels most relevant for you.
Where would you like to start?
A range of professionals can support your child’s development, communication, and wellbeing. In Ireland, many families access these supports publicly through a Children’s Disability Network Team (CDNT), or privately. Depending on what support you’re looking for, you may also work with other services and professionals along the way. You may come across other professionals during your child’s journey, including:
Special Education Needs Officer
support parents with understanding and accessing educational supports and options for their child.
Social Workers
support families with access to services, practical supports, and guidance.
Key Workers
support your child’s development and help coordinate care across services.
Physiotherapists
support movement, coordination, and physical development.
Speech and Language Therapists (SLTs)
support communication and understanding.
Occupational Therapists (OTs)
help with daily skills, sensory needs, and independence.
Psychologists
support understanding development, emotional wellbeing, and behaviour.
Psychiatrists
specialise in mental health who may be involved where there are particular mental health or psychiatric needs. Psychiatrists usually need to be accessed by GP or public services referral, rather than a direct self-referral.
Behaviour Specialists (such as BCBAs)
support understanding and managing behaviour.
Play Therapists
support emotional expression and development through play.
Many of these will be provided publicly by the CDNT, but can also be accessed privately. You can explore some of these supports below if you’re looking to connect with services or professionals.
Understanding SENO / NCSE
You may hear about the NCSE and SENO early in your journey. Understanding their role can make the process feel much clearer and less overwhelming.
What is the NCSE?
The NCSE (National Council for Special Education) is the organisation that supports children with additional needs in accessing education. They oversee school supports, allocate resources, and support access to placements.
What is a SENO?
A SENO (Special Education Needs Officer) works as part of the NCSE. They are your main point of contact. A SENO can help identify suitable school placements, review your child’s needs, liaise with schools, and support applications for services. Most importantly, they are your guide through the process.
You may work with a SENO when looking for a school place, seeking a special class or special school, applying for home tuition, or needing additional supports. They will need information about your child, reports (if available), and updates on school applications.
SENOs support many families, so communication may take time. It can help to keep emails clear and concise, keeps records of communication, and follow up when needed.
It’s okay to feel unsure or frustrated at times. SENOs are there to support the process, even if it doesn’t always feel straightforward. You can always follow up, ask for clarification, or seek additional advice or support along the way.
Some families choose to work with tutors to support learning at home. This can be particularly helpful for children accessing the Home Tuition Grant, or for additional support outside of school. Tutors can support areas such as communication, early learning, play, and building daily routines.
Finding the right tutor can take time, and it’s important to choose someone who understands your child’s needs.
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Access to flexible childcare or respite can provide valuable support for families. This might include specialised babysitters, respite services, or short-term care options. These supports can help create space for rest, flexibility, and balance.
Respite is usually arranged through your GP, Public Health Nurse, or local HSE services, and may be provided through other HSE-funded or voluntary organisations (like RehabCare or Bartra Healthcare).
Some children benefit from individual support outside of school, home tuition, or childcare. This might include support with social activities, communication, independence, routines, or taking part in activities in the community. The right support can look different for every child, and finding someone who understands your child’s needs can help them feel more confident and supported in everyday life.
Having an autistic child can affect family life in many different ways. Alongside appointments, school, therapies, and everyday routines, there can also be a lot to process emotionally – for your child, their brothers and sisters, and for you.
Every family will experience this journey differently. There is no single ‘right’ way to feel, and you don’t have to have everything figured out straight away.
Family support is about recognising that everyone’s needs matter. Supporting your autistic child doesn’t mean ignoring the needs of their siblings, and caring for everyone else doesn’t mean forgetting about yourself.
These pages are here to offer reassurance, understanding, and support for the whole family because you don’t have to navigate everything perfectly to be doing a good job.
Supporting Your Child
One of the most important things you can give your child is the feeling that they are understood and accepted for who they are.
Your child does not need to be ‘fixed’ or changed into someone else. Autism is part of how they experience and interact with the world, and every autistic child will have their own strengths, differences, challenges, and ways of communicating and doing things.
There may be times when your child needs support to communicate, regulate, manage everyday situations, or develop new skills. Supporting them doesn’t mean trying to make them less autistic. It means understanding what they need and helping make the world around them more accessible and manageable.
You don’t need to have all the answers. You will be continuously learning about your child over time – what makes them feel safe, what they enjoy, what overwhelms them, and what helps.
Above all, your child needs to know that they are loved and accepted exactly as they are.
Getting To Know Your Child
When you’re looking for information about autism, it’s easy to start looking for answers about what autistic children need. But your child is not a checklist of autistic traits. Two autistic children can have completely different personalities, interests, strengths, and support needs. Something that works well for one child may not work at all for another.
Over time, one of the most helpful things you can do is become curious about your individual child. Instead of focusing only on what a behaviour looks like from the outside, it can help to ask:
– What might my child be communicating?
– What is happening before this becomes difficult?
– What seems to help?
– Are there particular environments where they feel more comfortable?
– What do they enjoy doing?
– What are they naturally good at?
– When do they seem most relaxed and themselves?
– What might be making this difficult for them?
You won’t always know the answer straight away. Getting to know your child isn’t about figuring them out perfectly or becoming an expert overnight. It’s something that develops over time. Your child will be forever growing and changing. What they need at one stage may be different a year later, or even a week later. Staying curious and being willing to learn alongside them can be more helpful than trying to find one approach that works forever.
The goal isn’t to become an expert in autism. It’s to become an expert in your child.
Different Doesn’t Mean Wrong
When your child is autistic, it can sometimes be easy to start looking at everything they do through the lens of autism. You might notice something your child does and immediately wonder whether it is something that needs to be corrected, taught, or changed. But sometimes, it can help to take a step back and ask yourself: would this actually seem unusual if my child wasn’t autistic?
For example, if your child doesn’t like wearing shoes and is taught in school to keep them on, then you might be worried when they won’t keep their shoes on when they’re at home. But most adults don’t wear their outdoor shoes around the house either – we take them off, put on slippers, or simply prefer to be more comfortable.
The difference is that when an autistic child does something differently, it can sometimes be viewed as a behaviour that needs to be addressed, even when the same preference or behaviour would not seem unusual in someone else.
This doesn’t mean that your child’s needs should always be ignored, or that they will never need support to learn new skills. There are times when children need help learning things that are important for their safety, independence, or everyday life.
But it can be helpful to ask:
– Is this actually causing a problem?
– Who is it causing a problem for?
– Would I expect the same thing from another child their age?
– Is my child simply more comfortable doing things differently?
– Could there be a reason why this feels difficult or uncomfortable for them?
Sometimes, the goal doesn’t need to be getting your child to behave in a more typical way. Sometimes, the answer is simply allowing them to be comfortable.
Supporting Brothers & Sisters
Having an autistic brother or sister can be an important and positive part of a child’s life. Siblings may have a close relationship, share interests and experiences, and develop their own unique understanding of one another.
Like all sibling relationships, though, there can also be difficult moments. Your child may sometimes feel proud, protective, or close to their sibling, while at other times feeling frustrated, left out, worried, or embarrassed. They may experience several different feelings at once. It’s important to let them know that all of these feelings are okay.
Having difficult feelings about a situation doesn’t mean they don’t love their brother or sister. Giving siblings space to talk openly can help them feel understood and remind them that their feelings matter too.
Understanding Autism Together
Your child’s understanding of autism will develop over time, just as their understanding of the world does. It can help to explain autism in a way that makes sense for their age and level of understanding. Encourage questions and be honest when you don’t know an answer.
You don’t need to make autism sound scary or overly complicated. Helping siblings understand that their brother or sister may experience, communicate, or interact with the world differently can often help things make more sense. You can also help them understand that different doesn’t mean loved more.
Sometimes siblings notice that different rules or expectations apply to their autistic brother or sister and may wonder why something feels ‘fair’ for one child but not another. Fair doesn’t always mean everyone gets exactly the same thing. Different children sometimes need different things – but every child should feel equally valued, loved, and important.
Making Space for Their Feelings
Siblings can sometimes feel that they need to be the ‘easy’ child. They may see that their parents have a lot to manage and decide not to talk about their own worries, frustrations, or difficulties because they don’t want to create more problems. They may also feel guilty for being annoyed with their sibling or for wishing things were different sometimes.
Remind your child that they are allowed to have difficult feelings. They don’t have to be endlessly patient or understanding, and they don’t need to pretend everything is okay all the time. Their feelings deserve space too.
Spending Time Together
When one child has additional appointments, support needs, or routines that require more attention, siblings can sometimes feel that family life revolves around their brother or sister.
One-to-one time doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated. It might be a walk together, watching their favourite programme, going to the shops, having a chat at bedtime, or doing something that they enjoy.
It doesn’t have to happen perfectly or take up huge amounts of time. Small, consistent moments can remind your child that they are important as an individual too.
Helping Without Giving Them Too Much Responsibility
Brothers and sisters often want to help each other, and that can be a lovely part of their relationship.
However, it’s important that siblings don’t begin to feel responsible for managing their brother or sister’s behaviour, keeping them calm, or taking on the role of another parent. They can be a sibling without being a support worker.
If they choose to help, that’s different from feeling that they have to help. Make sure they know that adults are responsible for managing difficult situations and that they can step away or ask for help when they need to.
Understanding Difficult Moments
If their brother or sister sometimes becomes overwhelmed, distressed, or needs space, it can help siblings understand what is happening and what they can do. This doesn’t mean they need to manage the situation themselves.
Instead, a simple family plan can help them know:
– What’s happening
– Where they can go if they need space
– Which adult they can go to
– That they are not responsible for fixing the situation
Knowing what to expect can sometimes help siblings feel safer and more prepared.
When Your Child Needs Extra Support
Sometimes siblings may need additional support themselves. You might notice changes such as increased worry, withdrawal, frustration, difficulties at school, or a child taking on more responsibility than they should.
These things don’t automatically mean something is seriously wrong, but they can be a sign that your child needs more space to talk or some additional support. This might come from family conversations, a trusted adult, school, a sibling support group, or a professional.
A Final Message
Every sibling relationship is different. There will be good days, difficult days, funny moments, and frustrating ones – just like any other family relationship. The goal isn’t to create a perfect relationship between your children. It’s to make sure that every child in your family feels seen, heard, and supported for who they are.
Supporting Yourself
Supporting your child can take a lot of emotional energy. Alongside everyday parenting, you may be navigating appointments, assessments, school, paperwork, waiting lists, decisions, and trying to understand what your child needs.
You might feel worried, overwhelmed, exhausted, or unsure about what the future will look like. You might also feel relieved to finally have answers, hopeful about the support your child could receive, or proud of the progress they make. And most of the time, you might feel several of these things at once!
There is no right way to feel about your child’s diagnosis or your family’s journey. Your feelings don’t take away from how much you love your child, and finding things difficult doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.
You Don’t Have to Have Everything Figured Out
There can be a lot of pressure to immediately learn everything about autism and make all the ‘right’ decisions for your child. But you don’t need to understand everything at once.
You don’t need to read every article, apply for every support, or have a plan for the next ten years. You can take things one step at a time and focus on what feels most important for your child and family right now. Take everything day by day, or hour by hour if you need to. You will learn as you go.
Making Space for Your Own Feelings
A child’s diagnosis can bring up all kinds of emotions, including some that parents may feel guilty about. You might grieve the future you imagined, worry about your child’s future, feel angry about the lack of support available, or feel overwhelmed by how much responsibility you suddenly feel.
You can love and accept your child exactly as they are and still find parts of the journey difficult. Those things can exist together. Try to give yourself permission to be honest about how you’re feeling without judging yourself for it.
You Are More Than Just Your Child’s Support Person
When your child needs additional support, it’s easy for your role as their parent to slowly become:
– The researcher
– The advocate
– The appointment organiser
– The form filler
– The teacher
– The person who knows every detail
You may spend so much time thinking about what everyone else needs that you stop noticing what you need. You are still a person outside of being your child’s parent. That doesn’t mean you need to suddenly find hours for hobbies or perfectly balance everything. Sometimes supporting yourself simply means recognising when you’re reaching your limit and allowing yourself to ask for help.
Letting Go of the Pressure to Do Everything
There will always be another resource you could try, another therapy someone recommends, another strategy on social media, or another thing you feel you ‘should’ be doing. But you cannot do everything, and you don’t need to.
Your child doesn’t need a parent who has read every book, tried every approach, and filled every hour with activities designed to help them develop. They need someone who knows them, loves them, and is doing their best with the information and energy they have. Sometimes, doing less is okay.
It’s Okay to Ask for Help
Asking for help can be difficult, particularly when you’re used to being the person who manages everything. Support can look different for everyone. It might mean:
– Asking someone to mind your child for an hour
– Talking honestly to your partner, family member, or friend
– Asking another parent about their experience
– Joining a support group
– Speaking to a professional
– Letting someone help with something practical
You don’t have to wait until you’re completely overwhelmed before accepting support.
A Final Message
You are learning too. Just as your child is learning about the world around them, you are learning about your child – what they need, who they are, and how best to support them.
You won’t get everything right. No parent does. You don’t need to be perfect to be the right parent for your child. Take what you need from this journey, one step at a time.
Community support can help reduce isolation and create opportunities for connection. Community support can include things like autism-friendly events, sensory-friendly spaces, and local groups or activities.
Being part of a community can make a meaningful difference – for both children and families.
This section is currently growing, and more events, groups, and resources will be added over time.
In the meantime, you may also find support through organisations such as AsIAm and Aspire. They offer things like information sessions, social groups, and community support.
If you’re looking for connection, you can start here:
You can also explore existing supports and groups:
Choosing the Right Support
When you first start looking for support, it can feel overwhelming. There are different professionals, different approaches, and lots of opinions. The most important thing to remember is that there is no single ‘right’ path, only what works best for your child and your family. What works for one child or family may not work for another. It’s okay to take your time, ask questions, and find what feels right for your child.
Before thinking about services, start with what your child needs right now. You don’t need to access every type of support available or find a professional for every area of your child’s life. The aim is simply to identify where support could make the biggest difference and start there. You might ask yourself where they need the most support, what is most difficult at the moment, or what would make daily life feel easier? This might relate to communication, daily activities, sensory needs, emotional regulation, learning, movement, or something else entirely.
The right support is not just about qualifications, it’s about how your child is supported. A good professional will adapt to your child and help them feel comfortable, understood, respected, and supported. It’s also important that, as their parent, things are explained simply and clearly, you feel listened to, and you are included in the process.
The first support you choose doesn’t have to be the final one. It’s okay to try something new, change direction, or take a break. Your child’s needs may also change over time, so the support that is helpful now might not be what they need later. Most importantly, trust your instincts. You know your child best. If something feels too rigid, too overwhelming, or not right for your child – it’s okay to step back. Choosing support isn’t about finding the perfect option, it’s about finding something that helps your child feel understood and supported, one step at a time.
